It's time again...for another installment of the not Me's (is that a word)?!?
I did not, briefly consider, taking my tree down on Christmas Eve...then reconsider when I couldn't think of how to explain to the children why Santa would take the tree down.
I also, did not type this blog at midnight on Sunday night, because I was awake. I never stay up late because I have three small children to care for in the am.
We did not loose power for the 15 hours on Sunday. Our power never goes out...seriously, it's only gone out twice.
I did not have children wake up before 3:30am and ask if Santa came. Whose kids get up that early!?!
I did not spend hours making Borax snowflakes, while the kids just watched. All our crafts are geared toward the children and I'd never pick a craft that needed boiling water.
I do not still have a glass container on my dresser, holding what looks like the beginning of rock candy...almost a week later.
I did not get news from my family, that should have shocked and disappointed me, only to respond with..."I'm not surprised"...that would just be wrong.
I most certainly, did not skip dishes and laundry, two nights in a row to watch movies with my husband. That would be irresponsible and just create an even bigger mess.
I also did not let my husband convince me to not do the above mentioned things with the excuse of .."but it's Christmas".
I definitely didn't eat at Sonic for the first time with my husband and NOT have a milkshake....isn't that what everyone gets there? Isn't that the point of Sonic?
I also didn't take a quick run into the grocery store while on a date with my husband. Who does that?!?
During the grocery run, that I did not make, I didn't tell my husband that we HAD to get milk, only to come home and find a gallon of milk in my freezer....I always know what's in my fridge and freezer.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Favorite Foto Friday
Or...like Jodi, favorite photos! The week has been full of festivities, food and family. The following pictures are my favorite from the END of the fun....
Little man was supposed to be sleeping, but mommy found himtearing reading this book instead.....
My sweet peanut butt was asleep in the car within 5 minutes. He opened, played and talked himself right out of energy...that or he was tired from sleeping next to the Christmas tree the night before.
The boy was so worn out. He was up at 5am. He was asleep in the amount of time it took us to get from grandma and grandpa's to the freeway entrance ramp - all of 3 miles. His fever came back that afternoon...he just wasn't himself.
Little man was supposed to be sleeping, but mommy found him
My sweet peanut butt was asleep in the car within 5 minutes. He opened, played and talked himself right out of energy...that or he was tired from sleeping next to the Christmas tree the night before.
The boy was so worn out. He was up at 5am. He was asleep in the amount of time it took us to get from grandma and grandpa's to the freeway entrance ramp - all of 3 miles. His fever came back that afternoon...he just wasn't himself.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas...what a sweet celebration this year!
Matt and I decided, early on, that we were going to scale it down a bit. Several things played a factor in this decision....first of all, our boys are horribly spoiled. There is nothing they need. They have almost everything they want. Secondly, I feel like we are robbing our kids. I fear, they will loose site of the true reason we celebrate. Thirdly, we don't have the money to do it this year, like so many others. Lastly, because I fear that I am loosing site of what Christmas really is and to quote Faith Hill, how, "A Baby Changes Everything".
I think, all in all, we did a great job! Our families kept it all down as well. We even scaled down how much running around we did! We still managed to see almost our entire family...and will have seen them all by Saturday! The boys had a great day...opening, playing and eating! Daddy and mommy had fun too!
Christmas Eve night was spent, feeding reindeer and hanging stockings...then of course we spent the rest of the night. The first wake was at 11:30 when the oldest boy made a trip to the bathroom and a pit stop in the living room to ask is Santa had come. The night continued like this...a wake at 3, 5:00, 5:30, 6:30...I think we held them off until 7 am!
At 5am, I walked through the living room, minus my glasses, and saw a tiny blob sitting on my chair. I walked over to see my middle son, curled up with a blanket and a book, sound asleep. If it wasn't 5 am I would have taken a picture...it was too sweet AND too early!
We spent time enjoying each other and our families. We had a dozen or more sweet moments and a ton of sweet food! I'll share more through the week!
Merry Christmas!!!
Matt and I decided, early on, that we were going to scale it down a bit. Several things played a factor in this decision....first of all, our boys are horribly spoiled. There is nothing they need. They have almost everything they want. Secondly, I feel like we are robbing our kids. I fear, they will loose site of the true reason we celebrate. Thirdly, we don't have the money to do it this year, like so many others. Lastly, because I fear that I am loosing site of what Christmas really is and to quote Faith Hill, how, "A Baby Changes Everything".
I think, all in all, we did a great job! Our families kept it all down as well. We even scaled down how much running around we did! We still managed to see almost our entire family...and will have seen them all by Saturday! The boys had a great day...opening, playing and eating! Daddy and mommy had fun too!
Christmas Eve night was spent, feeding reindeer and hanging stockings...then of course we spent the rest of the night. The first wake was at 11:30 when the oldest boy made a trip to the bathroom and a pit stop in the living room to ask is Santa had come. The night continued like this...a wake at 3, 5:00, 5:30, 6:30...I think we held them off until 7 am!
At 5am, I walked through the living room, minus my glasses, and saw a tiny blob sitting on my chair. I walked over to see my middle son, curled up with a blanket and a book, sound asleep. If it wasn't 5 am I would have taken a picture...it was too sweet AND too early!
We spent time enjoying each other and our families. We had a dozen or more sweet moments and a ton of sweet food! I'll share more through the week!
Merry Christmas!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Fun things to do not to do....
The following is a list of things, that aren't that fun to do on a Tuesday...we'll any day really.
*Babysit your sisters 5 children for several hours. Eight kids, under eight is insanity.
*Have two people call off work at the last minute.
*Chase rock salt around a 10,000 square foot building with a vacuum.
*Take 1.5 hours to drive approximately 36 miles.
*Get stuck, in your own driveway, at midnight.
*Feel like a tartlette as 6 grown men yell to you instructions as they push your car up your driveway approach...
*Actually have to ask "which way do I turn the wheel to straighten it out" to 6 strangers.
*Try to melt chocolate....and burn it all because you were watching 8 kids.
*Clean up pooh, twice, because your son decided that diapers weren't a necessity for him anymore.
*Whine about all the not fun things you did in a day....
*Babysit your sisters 5 children for several hours. Eight kids, under eight is insanity.
*Have two people call off work at the last minute.
*Chase rock salt around a 10,000 square foot building with a vacuum.
*Take 1.5 hours to drive approximately 36 miles.
*Get stuck, in your own driveway, at midnight.
*Feel like a tartlette as 6 grown men yell to you instructions as they push your car up your driveway approach...
*Actually have to ask "which way do I turn the wheel to straighten it out" to 6 strangers.
*Try to melt chocolate....and burn it all because you were watching 8 kids.
*Clean up pooh, twice, because your son decided that diapers weren't a necessity for him anymore.
*Whine about all the not fun things you did in a day....
Wonder Why
One day I will find the answers to all of life's unknowns. Deep questions, like "Why do children starve to death", "Why do babies die"...things like that. For now though, I'd just like to know the following.....
Why do my children insist on calling my name a doze times in a row.....I'm going to change my name from mom to something else. "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mom..." gets old sometimes - not that I'm not thrilled to have healthy children to call my name!
Why do children - all children - insist on poking you when they want something...over and over again. I told my nephew, just today, that I was going to punch him right in the nose if he poked me one more time...he poked me, one more time, laughed and ran away!
Who made Moon Sand? Are they insane....
Why do I buy Moon Sand? Am I insane....
Who installed a spill magnet on my floor? If I wash it, they will come - the spills that is.
What does my son say while he's at school? I was helping at Sam's school last week and got the complete criminal record of one kids parents.... I'm scared!
Why, if one child asks for something, do all the children then have to do or have it? It's a horrible chain reaction? "Mom can I have a pudding" - I answer - "Sure son"...two more kids drop what they are doing and suddenly will die if they don't have pudding.
Why, does my 6 year old spell EVERYTHING! I'm going insane.... I wake up to M-O-M. can I have something to d-r-i-n-k? I'm sure this is a good habit and a smart thing, it just gets a tad bit old...I've started spelling my answers.
Why does my youngest insist on taking off his diaper and sitting on the potty? Seems like a good thing right - wrong! He only does it after he has pooped. He's ready for potty training you say...wrong again my friend! He sits on the potty, gets up to play, starts peeing...mommy grabs him, puts him on potty, peeing stops...until he gets up. He then proceeds to pee on my floor. I quit!
Why do children wait until you get to the back of the gorcery store to say they have to pee?
Why does my cat insist on following the kids around, even though they torment him? Has he not learned his lesson?
Why do my children insist on calling my name a doze times in a row.....I'm going to change my name from mom to something else. "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mom..." gets old sometimes - not that I'm not thrilled to have healthy children to call my name!
Why do children - all children - insist on poking you when they want something...over and over again. I told my nephew, just today, that I was going to punch him right in the nose if he poked me one more time...he poked me, one more time, laughed and ran away!
Who made Moon Sand? Are they insane....
Why do I buy Moon Sand? Am I insane....
Who installed a spill magnet on my floor? If I wash it, they will come - the spills that is.
What does my son say while he's at school? I was helping at Sam's school last week and got the complete criminal record of one kids parents.... I'm scared!
Why, if one child asks for something, do all the children then have to do or have it? It's a horrible chain reaction? "Mom can I have a pudding" - I answer - "Sure son"...two more kids drop what they are doing and suddenly will die if they don't have pudding.
Why, does my 6 year old spell EVERYTHING! I'm going insane.... I wake up to M-O-M. can I have something to d-r-i-n-k? I'm sure this is a good habit and a smart thing, it just gets a tad bit old...I've started spelling my answers.
Why does my youngest insist on taking off his diaper and sitting on the potty? Seems like a good thing right - wrong! He only does it after he has pooped. He's ready for potty training you say...wrong again my friend! He sits on the potty, gets up to play, starts peeing...mommy grabs him, puts him on potty, peeing stops...until he gets up. He then proceeds to pee on my floor. I quit!
Why do children wait until you get to the back of the gorcery store to say they have to pee?
Why does my cat insist on following the kids around, even though they torment him? Has he not learned his lesson?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Not Me Monday
In an attempt to bring humor to the embarrassing moments in life...I did not do the following things....
I did not have to give my son, 5 shots in one night (4 were site changes) in an attempt to bring his sugar down, only to realize two days later that the tubing was wrong on the new site....that would just be irresponsible and I NEVER make those kinds of mistakes....
I also did not hold that same 5 year olds head over a trash can and not let it up on several occasions during the night while he screamed "I'm done puking" - in between heaves.
I certainly did not tell the above mentioned child that if he puked anywhere but the toilet or can again he'd have to clean it up...because that would be mean.
I also, did not laugh at the fact that my son had puked all over his baby brothers bed at 2am...because that would be crazy. Who would laugh about having to change two kids and two sets of sheets.
I did not hope that my oldest would have a snow day on Friday so that his Christmas break could be one day longer - who wants there kids home an extra day!
I did not make two of my boys take off all their own snow gear because it was too cold to stand by the back door and help them....that would be lazy.
I most certainly did not laugh hysterically, in the grocery store, with my mom this weekend. We did not have people look and stare at the two grown woman laughing at the cow and duck key chains that made noise...that would be silly.
I definitely did not rebuke myself for thinking that my kids didn't get enough for Christmas this year...because I'm not that shallow and know that ANYTHING is more than enough for my spoiled little ones and I also know that we are working to teach them the true meaning of the holiday.....
I also did not tell my husband the place, name and style of the drinking glasses I want to Christmas. I'd be thrilled with whatever he chooses!
This week was FULL of Not Me moments....I certainly haven't forgotten most of them though.
I did not have to give my son, 5 shots in one night (4 were site changes) in an attempt to bring his sugar down, only to realize two days later that the tubing was wrong on the new site....that would just be irresponsible and I NEVER make those kinds of mistakes....
I also did not hold that same 5 year olds head over a trash can and not let it up on several occasions during the night while he screamed "I'm done puking" - in between heaves.
I certainly did not tell the above mentioned child that if he puked anywhere but the toilet or can again he'd have to clean it up...because that would be mean.
I also, did not laugh at the fact that my son had puked all over his baby brothers bed at 2am...because that would be crazy. Who would laugh about having to change two kids and two sets of sheets.
I did not hope that my oldest would have a snow day on Friday so that his Christmas break could be one day longer - who wants there kids home an extra day!
I did not make two of my boys take off all their own snow gear because it was too cold to stand by the back door and help them....that would be lazy.
I most certainly did not laugh hysterically, in the grocery store, with my mom this weekend. We did not have people look and stare at the two grown woman laughing at the cow and duck key chains that made noise...that would be silly.
I definitely did not rebuke myself for thinking that my kids didn't get enough for Christmas this year...because I'm not that shallow and know that ANYTHING is more than enough for my spoiled little ones and I also know that we are working to teach them the true meaning of the holiday.....
I also did not tell my husband the place, name and style of the drinking glasses I want to Christmas. I'd be thrilled with whatever he chooses!
This week was FULL of Not Me moments....I certainly haven't forgotten most of them though.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Soap Flake Snow Flakes
Some of the finished product!
I was so happy with how they turned out - for the first time trying it.
Tried a few more - learned a few more lessons!
These were super easy and not an expensive thing. I learned a lot of things to do and not to do for next years batch!
I was so happy with how they turned out - for the first time trying it.
Tried a few more - learned a few more lessons!
These were super easy and not an expensive thing. I learned a lot of things to do and not to do for next years batch! Unfortunately, due to the boiling water, snowflake shaping, and measuring, it isn't an easy kid craft. The kids did love seeing the final product and checking on the progress of the flakes.
If you want to make them - and need some tips, just let me know. All you need is Borax, white pipe cleaner, water and string.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Yucky Numbers
1 - number of calls to the Diabetes Emergency phone line at Children's Hospital.
4 - number of sites I had to put in the boys' back side.
1 - number of shots the boy had to get - in addition to his pump sites.
1 - an hour the boy had to have his sugar checked.
2 - number of sites I left in the boys backside....
1 - how many sites I hoped was working.
5 - number of times the boy vomited or dry heaved in a 5 hour period.
1 - number of brothers that were puked on during the above process.
3 - number of sheets that were changed in the middle of the night.
5:30am - the time that mommy went to sleep on Thursday night.
8 or 10 - inches of snow we got that night
239482 - number of times, the thought "I'm going to have to take him to the ER" went through my head.
HI - number the boys monitor kept reading for his blood sugar (in layman's terms - sugar over 600).
5.5 - number of hours it took to get the sugar down...
450 - Blood sugar number that made me happy - just to see it was coming down!
3 - times I checked ketones and found that haunting dark purple color.....
1 - brave 5 year old.
Countless prayers said that night for God to bring his sugar back down....still praising that He did without major medical intervention!
4 - number of sites I had to put in the boys' back side.
1 - number of shots the boy had to get - in addition to his pump sites.
1 - an hour the boy had to have his sugar checked.
2 - number of sites I left in the boys backside....
1 - how many sites I hoped was working.
5 - number of times the boy vomited or dry heaved in a 5 hour period.
1 - number of brothers that were puked on during the above process.
3 - number of sheets that were changed in the middle of the night.
5:30am - the time that mommy went to sleep on Thursday night.
8 or 10 - inches of snow we got that night
239482 - number of times, the thought "I'm going to have to take him to the ER" went through my head.
HI - number the boys monitor kept reading for his blood sugar (in layman's terms - sugar over 600).
5.5 - number of hours it took to get the sugar down...
450 - Blood sugar number that made me happy - just to see it was coming down!
3 - times I checked ketones and found that haunting dark purple color.....
1 - brave 5 year old.
Countless prayers said that night for God to bring his sugar back down....still praising that He did without major medical intervention!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Erin
For my sweet friend and old college roomie Erin...
Here is my attempt at giving you and your family a white Christmas!
Enjoy the SNOW...it's much warmer and drier this way!
LOVE YOU!
Snow
Max made the first snow angel of the year....
it was all fun and games until Dumptruck the dog came to play....
Max was out of there...and "the dang dog Dumpy" (to quote Max) ruined the snow angel.
Owen loved peeking around all the snow covered trees.
He loved walking around in the snow and just kept repeating "Snow...boots...snow..." He was ADORABLE!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Not Me Monday
In an attempt for cheap "talk" therapy, her is a list of things I didn't do this week....
I did not spell one of my sister's names wrong in my last blog. She has been my sister for 24 years, why on earth would I add an "h" to the end of Sara.
I most certainly didn't allow my children to open an extra Christmas gift of playdough because ours was all gone....
I also did not let my kids play the "dough" for hours without worrying about the mess...even when the littlest man brought it into the living room...because I have wood floors it's ok...WAS NOT my rational.
I definately didn't fall asleep in the lazy boy this week while babysitting for my sister. I would never turn on a video and sit with the older kids and "rest my eyes" while the babies all slept....
I did not take my little man to church on Sunday, even though he threw up a few hours before. I did not, NOT, want to miss the two older boys in their first church Christmas play.**I did however, hold little man, the ENTIRE time in the back of the church - far away from all people. I also warned anyone who came within 50 yards of us;)**
I most certainly didn't skip dinner the other day, knowing I had to go to the grocery store. I did not think ahead that I could pick up stuff to make myself a salami sandwich and chips...because I had an awful craving. I'd never want anything that bad!
I did not hope for a snow day on more than one occasion in the last week....because I don't want my kids to be able to miss school...right?!?!
I have not called my littlest man "ONO" too because I think it's adorable that he thinks that's what his name is! That would just be wrong to encourage.
I have not sat and tried to come up with nicknames for my kids for the blog...I don't like using their real names on the blog and would love to come up with something more creative....
I did not spell one of my sister's names wrong in my last blog. She has been my sister for 24 years, why on earth would I add an "h" to the end of Sara.
I most certainly didn't allow my children to open an extra Christmas gift of playdough because ours was all gone....
I also did not let my kids play the "dough" for hours without worrying about the mess...even when the littlest man brought it into the living room...because I have wood floors it's ok...WAS NOT my rational.
I definately didn't fall asleep in the lazy boy this week while babysitting for my sister. I would never turn on a video and sit with the older kids and "rest my eyes" while the babies all slept....
I did not take my little man to church on Sunday, even though he threw up a few hours before. I did not, NOT, want to miss the two older boys in their first church Christmas play.**I did however, hold little man, the ENTIRE time in the back of the church - far away from all people. I also warned anyone who came within 50 yards of us;)**
I most certainly didn't skip dinner the other day, knowing I had to go to the grocery store. I did not think ahead that I could pick up stuff to make myself a salami sandwich and chips...because I had an awful craving. I'd never want anything that bad!
I did not hope for a snow day on more than one occasion in the last week....because I don't want my kids to be able to miss school...right?!?!
I have not called my littlest man "ONO" too because I think it's adorable that he thinks that's what his name is! That would just be wrong to encourage.
I have not sat and tried to come up with nicknames for my kids for the blog...I don't like using their real names on the blog and would love to come up with something more creative....
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The middle boy, and I had a conversation on Friday about the "tooth fairy". He had to get a tooth pulled. He fell almost three years ago while running down the driveway to hug his grandma...I remember it like it was yesterday! Finally, the tooth had died and basically hollowed out. He bumped it again on Thursday and the actual tooth started bleeding. I wasn't home at the time, but Matt told me it was some serious bleeding! I didn't know a tooth could bleed, but apparently it can. I could go into a long discussion about how it bleeds, but I will save that for another blog. For anyone who knows me...teeth gross me out. BIG TIME! I can't handle loose teeth - it makes me gag. I know it's odd, but I can't do it, so this whole tooth pulling thing was not exciting for me. The boy on the other hand was thrilled...odd, I know!
Someone, who shall remain namelessAuntie Sarah, told the boy that if you get your tooth pulled you get $10 from the tooth fairy. WHAT?!?! The tooth fairy didn't give me $10 for my entire mouth of teeth. I informed the boy, that OUR tooth fairy didn't give that much for a tooth, regardless. I did however take him for several treats.
One stop landed us at Walmart. I allowed the boy to pick a $10 toy.... I told him that the tooth fairy just would leave something small since he picked his prize...our conversation went something like this....
Boy: Mom, you can't talk to the tooth fairy.
Mom: Yes, I can, mom's can talk to Santa, tooth fairies, etc.
Boy: NO YOU CANT! You can't call, write notes, email or TEXT the tooth fairy!
Yes, my 5 year old son, told me I can't text the tooth fairy.
He was also overheard telling someone at church that he got to pick out three new trains for just one tooth, got to eat ONLY a frosty for lunch and got 1 dollar and two circle monies for his tooth! He is too cute. His biggest brother is a bit jealous that his teeth are all still intact...poor kid!
Someone, who shall remain nameless
One stop landed us at Walmart. I allowed the boy to pick a $10 toy.... I told him that the tooth fairy just would leave something small since he picked his prize...our conversation went something like this....
Boy: Mom, you can't talk to the tooth fairy.
Mom: Yes, I can, mom's can talk to Santa, tooth fairies, etc.
Boy: NO YOU CANT! You can't call, write notes, email or TEXT the tooth fairy!
Yes, my 5 year old son, told me I can't text the tooth fairy.
He was also overheard telling someone at church that he got to pick out three new trains for just one tooth, got to eat ONLY a frosty for lunch and got 1 dollar and two circle monies for his tooth! He is too cute. His biggest brother is a bit jealous that his teeth are all still intact...poor kid!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Favorite F(P)hoto Friday
Dentist stop 1! Owen thought he'd watch cartoons too! One hour stop.....
Max waiting for the dentist to come and check the damage.
Dentist #2....showing his little brother the fun pictures on the wall. Owen had to site with Max!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
How I know I am chopped liver with my children when their grandparents are involved.
While walking through the store, my children, especially my youngest, refuse to walk with me. They want to walk with grandma and go in her cart. Maybe that's because grandma will walk down the toy aisle and let them play with all the toys they like and might, even buy them one or three.
While holding my children, if any one of the four grandparents, enter the room, my lap and arms are immediately abandoned for the grandparent of their choosing. I am a mere afterthought at this point.
I can call my wee ones, threaten, yell, beg, plead and or bribe mymonsters always obedient children, to come to me, they ignore me, as if I'm speaking to the wall or myself. Insert grandparent: grandparent calls and kiddies come running with smiles, clean faces and combed hair.
Mind you, I carried these boys for 9,8.5, and 8 months. I endured countless months of all day sickness, I vomited more times than 10 people ever should. My feet grew, my muscles stretched, I labored, delivered and fed them.... this means nothing to them....nothing. I bathe, feed and clothe them. I nurture and protect them, guide and teach them. This doesn't even edge me close to grandparent status.
I can't compete with the grandparents and I imagine that's the way it should be! I laughed today at my little ones. They wanted nothing to do with me in Target...nothing. It was all about grandma and what she was doing. My littlest squirt walked next to her like he was hot stuff. She even let them play in the Thomas aisle for a few moments...that is like gold to my two younger boys.
Wanting grandma is also a blessing while you are shopping! Sure...go in grandma's cart, walk with her... I may actually be able to get a box of cereal or two to the checkout lanes without having to open it first!
While walking through the store, my children, especially my youngest, refuse to walk with me. They want to walk with grandma and go in her cart. Maybe that's because grandma will walk down the toy aisle and let them play with all the toys they like and might, even buy them one or three.
While holding my children, if any one of the four grandparents, enter the room, my lap and arms are immediately abandoned for the grandparent of their choosing. I am a mere afterthought at this point.
I can call my wee ones, threaten, yell, beg, plead and or bribe my
Mind you, I carried these boys for 9,8.5, and 8 months. I endured countless months of all day sickness, I vomited more times than 10 people ever should. My feet grew, my muscles stretched, I labored, delivered and fed them.... this means nothing to them....nothing. I bathe, feed and clothe them. I nurture and protect them, guide and teach them. This doesn't even edge me close to grandparent status.
I can't compete with the grandparents and I imagine that's the way it should be! I laughed today at my little ones. They wanted nothing to do with me in Target...nothing. It was all about grandma and what she was doing. My littlest squirt walked next to her like he was hot stuff. She even let them play in the Thomas aisle for a few moments...that is like gold to my two younger boys.
Wanting grandma is also a blessing while you are shopping! Sure...go in grandma's cart, walk with her... I may actually be able to get a box of cereal or two to the checkout lanes without having to open it first!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
How I know I'm Old...
I know I'm getting old now. It's taken me a while to admit it, but it's glaringly obvious now....
*Not sure when or how...but I listen to talk radio now. I actually turn off music and listen to talk radio on occasion! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!
*I have, on more than one occasion, in the last year, complained about the price of gas and the words, "I remember when you could get gas for $0.99", came out of my mouth - for my LU friends, that gas station at the bottom of the hill, next to Walmart always had gas for under a dollar!
*I am shocked on a biweekly basis at the cost of groceries. I have also been know to come home and tell my husband things like, "this hamburger used to cost $2.99 a pound, now it's $4.29". He nods and says something intelligent about the economy and uses some business term that I don't understand, while I just mumble under my breath about the rise in the cost of a box of graham crackers.
*When given an evening free, both of children and financial obligation, I, and my dear friend Carrie, couldn't hang. We ate dinner, a rather large dinner at that, and both were too tired...and too sick to go to a movie. We both went home and went to bed...are we insane!
*I have been known, while sampling foods at dinner, to announce that I was going to need some Zantac before bed...or that I am going to pay for what I just ate (physically).
*I find loud music to be nothing but "noise" now....I say, "turn that down" more times than I care to admit.
What has happened to me....
*Not sure when or how...but I listen to talk radio now. I actually turn off music and listen to talk radio on occasion! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!
*I have, on more than one occasion, in the last year, complained about the price of gas and the words, "I remember when you could get gas for $0.99", came out of my mouth - for my LU friends, that gas station at the bottom of the hill, next to Walmart always had gas for under a dollar!
*I am shocked on a biweekly basis at the cost of groceries. I have also been know to come home and tell my husband things like, "this hamburger used to cost $2.99 a pound, now it's $4.29". He nods and says something intelligent about the economy and uses some business term that I don't understand, while I just mumble under my breath about the rise in the cost of a box of graham crackers.
*When given an evening free, both of children and financial obligation, I, and my dear friend Carrie, couldn't hang. We ate dinner, a rather large dinner at that, and both were too tired...and too sick to go to a movie. We both went home and went to bed...are we insane!
*I have been known, while sampling foods at dinner, to announce that I was going to need some Zantac before bed...or that I am going to pay for what I just ate (physically).
*I find loud music to be nothing but "noise" now....I say, "turn that down" more times than I care to admit.
What has happened to me....
Monday, December 8, 2008
Not Me Monday
I really need to figure out how to put the title thing from My Charming Kids...that I got this idea from. There is a movement of mommies who participate in the therapy that is "not me Monday".....I'll figure it out when I have a bit more time - which is NOT right now!
This week I definitely did not sleep until 10 am on Saturday while my husband was up and doing dishes. I did let him go back to sleep too....
I didn't fold 5 loads of laundry today, only to change sheets on 4 beds and clean under the boys beds...only to make another 3 loads of laundry.
I most certainly did not willingly take home 4 extra children on Saturday afternoon - because that would just be insane.
I definitely did not have company ALL weekend...and I mean ALL weekend.
I did not have two sets of company leave on Saturday at 9 pm and have two more sets arrive at 9:15pm...because we are certainly not that cool....
I certainly did not leave a sink FULL of dishes on Friday night to be done the next day because I didn't want to unload the dishwasher. I'm not lazy...
I also didn't allow my kids to have "lunch" at Target again this week, that's right, I said again, because they are angels if they can eat while I shop. I don't resort to bribery ever.
In not letting my kids eat "lunch" at Target did not allow said lunch to consist of popcorn and slushies...that is TOTALLY irresponsible.
I definitely didn't, not pay attention while my two and a half year old colored his face with blue marker again...and didn't laugh hysterically when I realized that part of the marker had broken off in his nose...his snotty nose.
This week I definitely did not sleep until 10 am on Saturday while my husband was up and doing dishes. I did let him go back to sleep too....
I didn't fold 5 loads of laundry today, only to change sheets on 4 beds and clean under the boys beds...only to make another 3 loads of laundry.
I most certainly did not willingly take home 4 extra children on Saturday afternoon - because that would just be insane.
I definitely did not have company ALL weekend...and I mean ALL weekend.
I did not have two sets of company leave on Saturday at 9 pm and have two more sets arrive at 9:15pm...because we are certainly not that cool....
I certainly did not leave a sink FULL of dishes on Friday night to be done the next day because I didn't want to unload the dishwasher. I'm not lazy...
I also didn't allow my kids to have "lunch" at Target again this week, that's right, I said again, because they are angels if they can eat while I shop. I don't resort to bribery ever.
In not letting my kids eat "lunch" at Target did not allow said lunch to consist of popcorn and slushies...that is TOTALLY irresponsible.
I definitely didn't, not pay attention while my two and a half year old colored his face with blue marker again...and didn't laugh hysterically when I realized that part of the marker had broken off in his nose...his snotty nose.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Just a Friendly Reminder of...
Why the boy's marker use should be strictly monitored....
He colored his leg quite well...lovely use of the color blue!
He actually managed to break a piece of the marker off in his nose - as you can see. How?!? The world may never know...add one snotty nose to the piece of broken marker and you have more fun that you can stand in one night!
He colored his leg quite well...lovely use of the color blue!
He actually managed to break a piece of the marker off in his nose - as you can see. How?!? The world may never know...add one snotty nose to the piece of broken marker and you have more fun that you can stand in one night!You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now with this boy and markers!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Deckin the Halls...well the living room anyway!
Sammy showing how much bigger his hand is- 6 Christmas Seasons later! My how the time flys.
Reading the back of his ornament...I can still remember making the ornament. It seems like only yesterday.
Max, showing us his hand print ornament. He couldn't believe how little his hand was! We continue to pray that God will heal Max from his diabetes, but are thankful for the health that he has! He's as healthy as a horse otherwise!
He wanted to show me what he looked like then...and now. Not much has changed with that sweet little face!
Owen loved hanging his ornament and showing me where he put it...he pointed to it a dozen times over the night...right now he's pointing to the picture on my blog and saying "me,me,me.."
Look at that sweet baby hand, both now and then!
My mom made me a hand print ornament for my first Christmas and I still hang it on her tree every year. I am so glad I did the same for my boys! I am looking forward to having them hang their ornaments on my tree 30 years later!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Hear What?
A few things I've heard this week:
I don't know how I got this GIANT lump and bruise on my face. - if you knew my kid, this would make perfect sense to you.
Diabetes is NO FUN mom! All the other kids just jump up at the table and start eating, but NO...I have to wait to eat until after my sugar is checked...it's no fun. -I responded with, your right, it isn't any fun is it!
I need a bigger paper for my Christmas List, like a super duper long one. - I told him that the paper with 5 lines on it was plenty long and that Santa was also facing some economic hardships this year that would effect his gift giving potential.
Mom, why is it still so dark in our rooms, did you put special black out paper on our windows while we were sleeping? - I answered with, Your such a funny kid...it's 6am, that's why it's dark still....and then I briefly considered purchasing such a paper and sneaking in my kids room to put it up.....
I just didn't do anything mom. I wasn't the only one talking, but I was the only one that got in trouble...hmm....why does this sound familiar to me?!?! Could I possibly have had that same moment once or one hundred times in my life?!?
No misspellings found....I've NEVER seen that on spell check in my life, until today! Shame it doesn't check grammar too!
I don't know how I got this GIANT lump and bruise on my face. - if you knew my kid, this would make perfect sense to you.
Diabetes is NO FUN mom! All the other kids just jump up at the table and start eating, but NO...I have to wait to eat until after my sugar is checked...it's no fun. -I responded with, your right, it isn't any fun is it!
I need a bigger paper for my Christmas List, like a super duper long one. - I told him that the paper with 5 lines on it was plenty long and that Santa was also facing some economic hardships this year that would effect his gift giving potential.
Mom, why is it still so dark in our rooms, did you put special black out paper on our windows while we were sleeping? - I answered with, Your such a funny kid...it's 6am, that's why it's dark still....and then I briefly considered purchasing such a paper and sneaking in my kids room to put it up.....
I just didn't do anything mom. I wasn't the only one talking, but I was the only one that got in trouble...hmm....why does this sound familiar to me?!?! Could I possibly have had that same moment once or one hundred times in my life?!?
No misspellings found....I've NEVER seen that on spell check in my life, until today! Shame it doesn't check grammar too!
Monday, December 1, 2008
10 Things to do over the Thanksgiving holiday.
Wake up at 4:30am and go shopping.
While there, stand, strangely intrigued and watch a woman get arrested for shoplifting. They did everything, right there in the open, in front of everyone...
Wonder, several times out loud, "how did I become one of these crazy shopping people".
Stand in between to CD rows and try to regroup. Give yourself a "you can do this" peptalk before venturing back out into the sea of crazy people....
Watch in horror as your son "sprinkler pukes" all over everyone and everything in a five mile radius. Grab son and run to nearest non carpeted surface - the kitchen.
Apologize profusely for puking child and assure everyone that "he was fine this morning". Leave quickly with puking child.
Grab a plastic bag, just in case...and have to use it on the way home.
Let one son, "double spend the night" at aunt's house. When child calls home and says he "doesn't want to get sick", ask if YOU can come and spend the night too.
Realize, that you have allowed middle son to go the whole day with a fever too. Wonder why and how your children are sick so much this year....
While there, stand, strangely intrigued and watch a woman get arrested for shoplifting. They did everything, right there in the open, in front of everyone...
Wonder, several times out loud, "how did I become one of these crazy shopping people".
Stand in between to CD rows and try to regroup. Give yourself a "you can do this" peptalk before venturing back out into the sea of crazy people....
Watch in horror as your son "sprinkler pukes" all over everyone and everything in a five mile radius. Grab son and run to nearest non carpeted surface - the kitchen.
Apologize profusely for puking child and assure everyone that "he was fine this morning". Leave quickly with puking child.
Grab a plastic bag, just in case...and have to use it on the way home.
Let one son, "double spend the night" at aunt's house. When child calls home and says he "doesn't want to get sick", ask if YOU can come and spend the night too.
Realize, that you have allowed middle son to go the whole day with a fever too. Wonder why and how your children are sick so much this year....
Put up Christmas tree and all Christmas decor, in one evening, in the hopes that it will make you a little more excited that Christmas is almost here
No, Not I...
I didn't wake up early, two days in a row, to go shopping. That would be crazy.
While not shopping, I did not save several hundred dollars on all my purchases...that would be too awesome!
I did not see a woman get busted for shoplifting.
I certainly wasn't strangely intrigued at watching the whole process. That would be nosey and rude.
I did not leave my husband and sick child at home on Thanksgiving afternoon, while I went to my parents - who thankfully live across the street. That would be mean..and make me a terrible mom.
I definitely didn't call home, several times, asking for details such as..."has he puked again, and how much," That would be disgusting.
I did not, not wash my hair for three days. That would be super gross and I never do gross things.
I did not wash and fold 5 loads of laundry and then only put away the kids stuff. I never leave the grown up clothes in the basket until sweet husband can't stand it anymore and puts them away....
I also didn't have a child that puked all over his great grandma's brand new carpet...and when my child didn't start puking..I did not grab said child and run to the nearest non carpeted surface - the kitchen!
Just a few things I didn't do.
While not shopping, I did not save several hundred dollars on all my purchases...that would be too awesome!
I did not see a woman get busted for shoplifting.
I certainly wasn't strangely intrigued at watching the whole process. That would be nosey and rude.
I did not leave my husband and sick child at home on Thanksgiving afternoon, while I went to my parents - who thankfully live across the street. That would be mean..and make me a terrible mom.
I definitely didn't call home, several times, asking for details such as..."has he puked again, and how much," That would be disgusting.
I did not, not wash my hair for three days. That would be super gross and I never do gross things.
I did not wash and fold 5 loads of laundry and then only put away the kids stuff. I never leave the grown up clothes in the basket until sweet husband can't stand it anymore and puts them away....
I also didn't have a child that puked all over his great grandma's brand new carpet...and when my child didn't start puking..I did not grab said child and run to the nearest non carpeted surface - the kitchen!
Just a few things I didn't do.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Forgotten Foto Friday
Hotel room for graduation - $200 a nightGas to drive down - $140 one way
Playing "sweep the leg" with daddy - PRICELESS
Monday, November 24, 2008
Not Me Monday
Here is a little bit of cheap therapy for everyone, in the form of a list of things I didn't do this week
I didn't wait until the last minute to post my not me Monday post. I don't procrastinate.
I did not, attempt to upload 1600 pictures to a photo processing website that had a too good to be true deal on photos, only to have it freeze up 7 times while trying to order....
I most certainly did not enjoy resting with my sick kiddies this week. I would never enjoy having sick kids at home, that would be wrong.
I DEFINITELY, did not let my oldest child go 6 days without a shower, because I forgot to remind him to shower...I am way more responsible than that and that would be gross.
I didn't watch three of my "shows" on line this week - that would mean I have too much time on my hands.
I most certainly did not have to take my sick child out of the church nursery on Sunday...I never take sick kids to church, because I'm always aware of who is sick BEFORE we do anything.
I am not a little bit nervous about my husbands job interview tomorrow...I never get nervous.
I did not let the "evil" me show up at work. I am always calm and together when dealing with the staff.
I did not go to a suprise party for a 13 year old boy this week, without my kids. That would just seem odd - unless he was your best friends son right?!?
Just a few things I didn't do....what didn't you do?
I didn't wait until the last minute to post my not me Monday post. I don't procrastinate.
I did not, attempt to upload 1600 pictures to a photo processing website that had a too good to be true deal on photos, only to have it freeze up 7 times while trying to order....
I most certainly did not enjoy resting with my sick kiddies this week. I would never enjoy having sick kids at home, that would be wrong.
I DEFINITELY, did not let my oldest child go 6 days without a shower, because I forgot to remind him to shower...I am way more responsible than that and that would be gross.
I didn't watch three of my "shows" on line this week - that would mean I have too much time on my hands.
I most certainly did not have to take my sick child out of the church nursery on Sunday...I never take sick kids to church, because I'm always aware of who is sick BEFORE we do anything.
I am not a little bit nervous about my husbands job interview tomorrow...I never get nervous.
I did not let the "evil" me show up at work. I am always calm and together when dealing with the staff.
I did not go to a suprise party for a 13 year old boy this week, without my kids. That would just seem odd - unless he was your best friends son right?!?
Just a few things I didn't do....what didn't you do?
Out of the Mouths of Babes
My kids are always saying clever things....things that make me ashamed, things that make me smile and some that frustrate me! Here, are a few from recent moments:
"Mom, this should say try and try again. You wrote it wrong" - Sam, commenting on the photo book I made for my inlaws for Christmas. He then proceeded to find another grammatical error. He's 6 folks - I'm in trouble.
"Twoof" - Owen said this while I was giving him the, "your in trouble" countdown. I said one...he said, twoof - or two. At least he's learning to count!
"You can only keep these toys for two days! I'm not buying those" - Max, while reading the two day sale paper from Toys R Us. He was quite disgusted with the idea that you could only keep toys for two days and then have to give them back! I didn't correct his thinking. Is that bad?
"Mom, this should say try and try again. You wrote it wrong" - Sam, commenting on the photo book I made for my inlaws for Christmas. He then proceeded to find another grammatical error. He's 6 folks - I'm in trouble.
"Twoof" - Owen said this while I was giving him the, "your in trouble" countdown. I said one...he said, twoof - or two. At least he's learning to count!
"You can only keep these toys for two days! I'm not buying those" - Max, while reading the two day sale paper from Toys R Us. He was quite disgusted with the idea that you could only keep toys for two days and then have to give them back! I didn't correct his thinking. Is that bad?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Where Do I Start....
Where do I start? What will I do?
All questions that have gone through my mind repeatedly since O was born.
Who can I help and how do I find them?
More questions....I have no answers to.
Maybe you can help...help me figure out where to start and who to help first....
It is difficult to find people who understand. People who are educated on the issue. It's even harder to find people who are empathetic, who sympathize with what your going through.
Many people try to dismiss the realness - if that's a word - of post partum issues. Let me assure you folks - THEY ARE REAL!
No vitamin, exercise, book, guru or the like will make it go away. I was wisely told...."Time, is your best friend and your worst enemy when it comes to this issue". And it was. Time was moving at a snails pace...days would drag on and nights would pass even slower. Time was not my friend in that aspect. Time was my best friend...it was what my body and mind needed to regulate itself.
I struggle, still, to not get angry at people who dismiss the mental health issues. I also feel that people are over medicated and under disciplined. I know that medications are abused and over used. That doesn't negate that mental health issues are quite real for many people.
I don't think that everyone should be medicated...because your going through a sad time...a time of depression, doesn't mean you need medication. There is a difference between clinical depression and being depressed - a BIG difference. You can go through times in your life where you face panic and anxiety issues...and these times can be brief for some. For others, it's a way of life. Something they deal with everyday...something that is as common as eating or even breathing for them. You can't function in an anxious, panicky state...it's impossible. I said all that to say this: I do believe in taking medication. Believer or not...I think it's a necessary evil for many people. I don't however believe that so many people should be medicated. I think, as a society, we don't want to feel sad - and who does. Sad is a part of life that we must deal with though...we have to feel. If you were wondering...I take medication daily myself still. Mostly to control the OCD. I thankfully have been able to lower my dose by half over the last year! I am at a point now where reciting scripture and refocusing myself works wonders - most days.
I thought, after O was born, that if one more person told me.."Oh, you just have the baby blues", I would either scream, or punch them right in there faces....thankfully, I did neither. Baby blues is also real...I had that too. Baby blues goes away though...quickly. You cry for two weeks and get over it. Thinking your going to stab yourself isn't baby blues....it's another problem. I would think that was common sense, but not so much.
One of the biggest problems we face is getting woman to admit they are struggling. Many women are embarrassed or nervous to say..."hey, something isn't quite right". Women who are believers are especially prone to this. I think we often feel like...if I just read my Bible more or pray more...than this will go away. I can't tell you how many times, in those three months, Satan used my faith against me. I would often cry because I thought I surely couldn't be saved and feel this way...Satan knows when our mind is weak...he will sneak in whenever he can.
Everyone, kept saying that the fact that I was talking about it was a good sign. I didn't want to talk about it...but I did. I felt like if someone didn't know I felt crazy then I was going to be more crazy...if that makes sense! It's hard to hide a panic attack though...almost impossible I'd imagine. Anxiety can be disguised a bit easier...panic, not so much.
I feel like there is such a stigma associated with post partum issues. Thankfully, even some celebrities are speaking out on their issues...people in the public eye, admitting that these things are real, helps bring more light to an issue. I wish, we could get a "high profile" christian figure to speak out on it....
I personally, didn't want to talk to anyone who hadn't been where I was. If you hadn't felt like you wanted to die or felt like you could crawl out of your skin...I didn't want to talk to you. If you thought I was just crazy...I didn't want to talk to you. My best friend and I didn't talk for a while...someone, I talk to everyday and hang out with constantly....had never been there. She wouldn't understand.
I understand...how do I get the word out to people that need someone to understand.
All questions that have gone through my mind repeatedly since O was born.
Who can I help and how do I find them?
More questions....I have no answers to.
Maybe you can help...help me figure out where to start and who to help first....
It is difficult to find people who understand. People who are educated on the issue. It's even harder to find people who are empathetic, who sympathize with what your going through.
Many people try to dismiss the realness - if that's a word - of post partum issues. Let me assure you folks - THEY ARE REAL!
No vitamin, exercise, book, guru or the like will make it go away. I was wisely told...."Time, is your best friend and your worst enemy when it comes to this issue". And it was. Time was moving at a snails pace...days would drag on and nights would pass even slower. Time was not my friend in that aspect. Time was my best friend...it was what my body and mind needed to regulate itself.
I struggle, still, to not get angry at people who dismiss the mental health issues. I also feel that people are over medicated and under disciplined. I know that medications are abused and over used. That doesn't negate that mental health issues are quite real for many people.
I don't think that everyone should be medicated...because your going through a sad time...a time of depression, doesn't mean you need medication. There is a difference between clinical depression and being depressed - a BIG difference. You can go through times in your life where you face panic and anxiety issues...and these times can be brief for some. For others, it's a way of life. Something they deal with everyday...something that is as common as eating or even breathing for them. You can't function in an anxious, panicky state...it's impossible. I said all that to say this: I do believe in taking medication. Believer or not...I think it's a necessary evil for many people. I don't however believe that so many people should be medicated. I think, as a society, we don't want to feel sad - and who does. Sad is a part of life that we must deal with though...we have to feel. If you were wondering...I take medication daily myself still. Mostly to control the OCD. I thankfully have been able to lower my dose by half over the last year! I am at a point now where reciting scripture and refocusing myself works wonders - most days.
I thought, after O was born, that if one more person told me.."Oh, you just have the baby blues", I would either scream, or punch them right in there faces....thankfully, I did neither. Baby blues is also real...I had that too. Baby blues goes away though...quickly. You cry for two weeks and get over it. Thinking your going to stab yourself isn't baby blues....it's another problem. I would think that was common sense, but not so much.
One of the biggest problems we face is getting woman to admit they are struggling. Many women are embarrassed or nervous to say..."hey, something isn't quite right". Women who are believers are especially prone to this. I think we often feel like...if I just read my Bible more or pray more...than this will go away. I can't tell you how many times, in those three months, Satan used my faith against me. I would often cry because I thought I surely couldn't be saved and feel this way...Satan knows when our mind is weak...he will sneak in whenever he can.
Everyone, kept saying that the fact that I was talking about it was a good sign. I didn't want to talk about it...but I did. I felt like if someone didn't know I felt crazy then I was going to be more crazy...if that makes sense! It's hard to hide a panic attack though...almost impossible I'd imagine. Anxiety can be disguised a bit easier...panic, not so much.
I feel like there is such a stigma associated with post partum issues. Thankfully, even some celebrities are speaking out on their issues...people in the public eye, admitting that these things are real, helps bring more light to an issue. I wish, we could get a "high profile" christian figure to speak out on it....
I personally, didn't want to talk to anyone who hadn't been where I was. If you hadn't felt like you wanted to die or felt like you could crawl out of your skin...I didn't want to talk to you. If you thought I was just crazy...I didn't want to talk to you. My best friend and I didn't talk for a while...someone, I talk to everyday and hang out with constantly....had never been there. She wouldn't understand.
I understand...how do I get the word out to people that need someone to understand.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
About a boy
While shopping at Target today, we had an accident, well two actually.
My middle man, was walking towards me and totally wiped out! He fell to the ground and landed in a heap on the floor. He looked up at me, as well as did the other shoppers, and just stared.
I tried desperately not to laugh as I told him to get up off the floor and come stand by me.
Mind you....he was just walking. Not running or jumping, walking.....and then he fell. That's it - nothing else was involved.
We gathered ourselves, I managed to get Mister middle, composed and we headed toward the shampoo....harmless enough right?!? WRONG!!!
I still am not sure how it happened, but I turned in time to see the following events:
1 - lady bumps into boy.
2 - Boy falls to the ground
3 - Boy hits his head on the corner of the shelf
4 - Boy falls, directly under woman's feet - who happens to be a bit older..like in her 60's....
5 - Woman proceeds to fall in what seems like a slow motion scene in a movie!
6 - Woman catches herself, before hitting the ground, on the pointed arms of the chap stick display - all the while, boy is laying underneath her feet and legs.
7 - I stare on in horror and disbelief at the scene.
8 - I grab the woman and help her upright herself - while boy is still laying on the floor.
9 - I ask her 15 times if she's ok and apologize profusely for my sons not paying attention.
10 - She looks at me like I'm crazy and tells me to get boy off the floor and wants to know if he's ok.
11 - I pick boy up, rub his head and assure the woman that Max is fine and that this event isn't unusual for him.
12 - I attempt to make boy apologize to the woman and she apologizes profusely.
13 - Woman starts to walk away and I ask...just one more time - if she is ok. She assures me she is and goes on about her shopping.
14 - Boy tells me that his head hurts...I try not to laugh.
15 - Boy quickly forgets his head hurts and realizes his pump has fallen out of it's pouch and is hanging by the tubing....new drama ensues....
This is my life with my middle one. He's always in his own little world and just a wee bit clueless about the common sense things in life - but he's brilliant.
My middle man, was walking towards me and totally wiped out! He fell to the ground and landed in a heap on the floor. He looked up at me, as well as did the other shoppers, and just stared.
I tried desperately not to laugh as I told him to get up off the floor and come stand by me.
Mind you....he was just walking. Not running or jumping, walking.....and then he fell. That's it - nothing else was involved.
We gathered ourselves, I managed to get Mister middle, composed and we headed toward the shampoo....harmless enough right?!? WRONG!!!
I still am not sure how it happened, but I turned in time to see the following events:
1 - lady bumps into boy.
2 - Boy falls to the ground
3 - Boy hits his head on the corner of the shelf
4 - Boy falls, directly under woman's feet - who happens to be a bit older..like in her 60's....
5 - Woman proceeds to fall in what seems like a slow motion scene in a movie!
6 - Woman catches herself, before hitting the ground, on the pointed arms of the chap stick display - all the while, boy is laying underneath her feet and legs.
7 - I stare on in horror and disbelief at the scene.
8 - I grab the woman and help her upright herself - while boy is still laying on the floor.
9 - I ask her 15 times if she's ok and apologize profusely for my sons not paying attention.
10 - She looks at me like I'm crazy and tells me to get boy off the floor and wants to know if he's ok.
11 - I pick boy up, rub his head and assure the woman that Max is fine and that this event isn't unusual for him.
12 - I attempt to make boy apologize to the woman and she apologizes profusely.
13 - Woman starts to walk away and I ask...just one more time - if she is ok. She assures me she is and goes on about her shopping.
14 - Boy tells me that his head hurts...I try not to laugh.
15 - Boy quickly forgets his head hurts and realizes his pump has fallen out of it's pouch and is hanging by the tubing....new drama ensues....
This is my life with my middle one. He's always in his own little world and just a wee bit clueless about the common sense things in life - but he's brilliant.
A Promise
Two and half years ago, I made a promise to God.
A promise that I have not been keeping all that well - not at all really. I am ashamed.
As many people know, after my youngest angel was born, something happened. Lots of things happened really, but something different.
I noticed it a bit after my oldest son was born, but dismissed it as baby blue. It was a bit worse after my second son was born, but it passed quickly.
After the baby was born, I felt ecstatic. A feeling that I hadn't felt in 9 months. I had what I thought, was mild depression during my pregnancy with little O. I went along with it and dealt with it though. I had to take enough medication - I wasn't about to add an antidepressant to the mix.
I went into labor 3.5 week early with him. I was totally unprepared and not at all expecting it. Thankfully, I am a planner and had most of mine/his bags packed. I'd had preterm labor with my middle son that was stopped, so I had the possibility in the back of my mind.
I contracted/labored for 15 hours before he was born, via c-section. I had to wait, as I wasn't an emergency, and that was fine. I understood. With our first son, I was the emergency who bumped several other laboring woman. I was grateful to be the non emergent patient!
That all being said, I was exhausted from lack of sleep - a contributing factor to my problem with my fist son, I believe. I labored for 42 hours with him before he had to be taken c-section....it was a long and exhausting process.
I think, looking back, that a lot of factors contributed to my problem. I think exhaustion will do horrible things to your mind, as well as hormones, and any type of anesthesia. I don't react well to anesthesia - of any kind. I feel panicky and nervous after I get Novocain! It bothers me for several days afterward. I'm a bit odd I guess - that or I'm a freak...either way!
Anyway...I digress. I promised God that I would help other women.... Women who were facing what I was facing. Thankfully, I had a support system that was unbelievable. My family and friends rallied around me. I had my faith. I had things that some women don't have access to. I am convinced that no one should go through what I went through alone.
I looked for support groups in my area and found none...how can that be! I found an online resource that was a great help to me - praise God for those ladies. Other than that, I found little outside help. I had an awesome therapist and a concerned doctor...all of which helped tremendously as well.
I still want to help women...women who are going through these times need help. It is a very real issue...and a horrible, scary one at that....I'll provide a little background...
As I mentioned, I was ecstatic after the baby was born. I felt elated really....it was an odd feeling. I hadn't felt truly happy in 9 months... My mom said she knew, right then, something wasn't right.
The next day, I knew it was coming. It happened with the other two boys too. I had that flood of emotion. The crying would start...I thought that was it. I was so very wrong.
I had visitors, people who came to bring gifts, see our baby and congratulate us...I spent the time vomiting and basically freaking out. One of my sweet doctors, who is a believer, sat on the bed next to me. He hugged me, prayed for me, and wrote me an order for Ativan! Such a nice man!!
I didn't sleep that night...this would be a pattern that would follow. I would struggle to fall asleep, sleep fitfully, and then wake very early in the morning, unable to fall back to sleep.
I kept telling them if they would just let me go home, I'd feel better. I was sure of it. They weren't going to let me go home because my blood pressure had skyrocketed and the babies billirubin levels were on the rise - not uncommon for a pre term baby. My heart rate shot up and wouldn't come down...I begged, pleaded and faked calm. They released me....I went home convinced that I was fine and would calm down...I didn't.
That all being said, after several days, prescriptions and such..things seemed to calm down. About a week later, it hit me again...like a Mac truck.....
I couldn't focus or sleep. I'd cry for hours at a time. I'd have panic attack after panic attack. They wouldn't stop. Then the obsessive and fearful thoughts came. Some thoughts were so dark and horrible, I'll never repeat them to anyone.
I started thinking I was going to kill myself. I didn't want to...I just thought I was going too. Doesn't make sense...I know - nothing did. I started having compulsions to put my hands on the stove while cooking and stab myself with scissors.... All these things would send me into a spiral of panic, uncontrolled thoughts, and crying. It was a horrible viscous cycle.
I refused to be alone with the kids. I would bathe them and think I was going to drown them. I wouldn't shower while I was home alone for fear that I would slit my wrists....it was a sick and scary time. I hid things from myself...all odd things...I hid knives, scissors and medication. I'd lay my kids clothes out at night and tell them I loved them...each time thinking it would be the last time I'd say that to them.....
I'd have myself so nerved up, I'd throw up every morning at the thought of facing another day of hell. My family stood right by me...never wavering. They'd pray, talk and cry with me. They sat with the kids while I walked and cried.
I'd lay prostrate on the floor, begging God to take this from me. I also felt like it was something I was going to have to go through. A dark water I was going to have to wade through....
The diagnosis was Post Partum OCD with panic disorder and depression. A triple whammy the psychiatrist told me. Only a small portion of woman will face post partum depression, even fewer will have panic disorder and of the small portion, less than 3% will develop the OCD part of it.... He assured me that I would in fact establish normalcy and that my faith and family were going to be the main components to get me through - that and a strong anti depressant! He encouraged me to NOT take the "sedative" medication unless I just couldn't get control...I'd already stopped taking them because of how they made me feel....
All that being said....it was hell and it was very real. I know many people think you can just snap out of those moments. I was told on more than one occasion to "get a grip". At that point, I had nothing to hold on to....
I wanted only to talk to people who had been there. People who knew what it was like to feel like you were going crazy...that you had no grip on reality. That at any moment your world would fall apart right before you eyes. There were many moments that I thought being hospitalized would be the right thing to do...but I feared they'd take my kids from me....thankfully, I was never left alone. My husband, the saint, took weeks off work to help me. He arranged someone to be with me all the time. He woke up, for 7 weeks straight, and did the babies night feedings. The doctor advised that I not be woken up in the middle of the night...as a tired mind had to fight even harder. I don't know how Matt did it, but he did.
I often feel cheated out of the first 3.5 months of O's life. He was my last baby...I was hoping to soak it all in...enjoy it all. That was not to be the case, and that's ok. I wouldn't change what I went through for anything. I know it sounds crazy - but it changed me. It changed the essence of who I am and what I am. It taught me things that I'll never forget...I wouldn't want to go back to how it was...even if I could.
My heart still breaks at the thought of what my two older boys must have felt at times. Thankfully, my family and I did our best to shelter them from it. Children are also extremely resilient...praise God!
That all being said...I want to help others who need help - not with just post partum issues, but panic/anxiety issues period. I promised God....He doesn't appreciate broken promises.
A promise that I have not been keeping all that well - not at all really. I am ashamed.
As many people know, after my youngest angel was born, something happened. Lots of things happened really, but something different.
I noticed it a bit after my oldest son was born, but dismissed it as baby blue. It was a bit worse after my second son was born, but it passed quickly.
After the baby was born, I felt ecstatic. A feeling that I hadn't felt in 9 months. I had what I thought, was mild depression during my pregnancy with little O. I went along with it and dealt with it though. I had to take enough medication - I wasn't about to add an antidepressant to the mix.
I went into labor 3.5 week early with him. I was totally unprepared and not at all expecting it. Thankfully, I am a planner and had most of mine/his bags packed. I'd had preterm labor with my middle son that was stopped, so I had the possibility in the back of my mind.
I contracted/labored for 15 hours before he was born, via c-section. I had to wait, as I wasn't an emergency, and that was fine. I understood. With our first son, I was the emergency who bumped several other laboring woman. I was grateful to be the non emergent patient!
That all being said, I was exhausted from lack of sleep - a contributing factor to my problem with my fist son, I believe. I labored for 42 hours with him before he had to be taken c-section....it was a long and exhausting process.
I think, looking back, that a lot of factors contributed to my problem. I think exhaustion will do horrible things to your mind, as well as hormones, and any type of anesthesia. I don't react well to anesthesia - of any kind. I feel panicky and nervous after I get Novocain! It bothers me for several days afterward. I'm a bit odd I guess - that or I'm a freak...either way!
Anyway...I digress. I promised God that I would help other women.... Women who were facing what I was facing. Thankfully, I had a support system that was unbelievable. My family and friends rallied around me. I had my faith. I had things that some women don't have access to. I am convinced that no one should go through what I went through alone.
I looked for support groups in my area and found none...how can that be! I found an online resource that was a great help to me - praise God for those ladies. Other than that, I found little outside help. I had an awesome therapist and a concerned doctor...all of which helped tremendously as well.
I still want to help women...women who are going through these times need help. It is a very real issue...and a horrible, scary one at that....I'll provide a little background...
As I mentioned, I was ecstatic after the baby was born. I felt elated really....it was an odd feeling. I hadn't felt truly happy in 9 months... My mom said she knew, right then, something wasn't right.
The next day, I knew it was coming. It happened with the other two boys too. I had that flood of emotion. The crying would start...I thought that was it. I was so very wrong.
I had visitors, people who came to bring gifts, see our baby and congratulate us...I spent the time vomiting and basically freaking out. One of my sweet doctors, who is a believer, sat on the bed next to me. He hugged me, prayed for me, and wrote me an order for Ativan! Such a nice man!!
I didn't sleep that night...this would be a pattern that would follow. I would struggle to fall asleep, sleep fitfully, and then wake very early in the morning, unable to fall back to sleep.
I kept telling them if they would just let me go home, I'd feel better. I was sure of it. They weren't going to let me go home because my blood pressure had skyrocketed and the babies billirubin levels were on the rise - not uncommon for a pre term baby. My heart rate shot up and wouldn't come down...I begged, pleaded and faked calm. They released me....I went home convinced that I was fine and would calm down...I didn't.
That all being said, after several days, prescriptions and such..things seemed to calm down. About a week later, it hit me again...like a Mac truck.....
I couldn't focus or sleep. I'd cry for hours at a time. I'd have panic attack after panic attack. They wouldn't stop. Then the obsessive and fearful thoughts came. Some thoughts were so dark and horrible, I'll never repeat them to anyone.
I started thinking I was going to kill myself. I didn't want to...I just thought I was going too. Doesn't make sense...I know - nothing did. I started having compulsions to put my hands on the stove while cooking and stab myself with scissors.... All these things would send me into a spiral of panic, uncontrolled thoughts, and crying. It was a horrible viscous cycle.
I refused to be alone with the kids. I would bathe them and think I was going to drown them. I wouldn't shower while I was home alone for fear that I would slit my wrists....it was a sick and scary time. I hid things from myself...all odd things...I hid knives, scissors and medication. I'd lay my kids clothes out at night and tell them I loved them...each time thinking it would be the last time I'd say that to them.....
I'd have myself so nerved up, I'd throw up every morning at the thought of facing another day of hell. My family stood right by me...never wavering. They'd pray, talk and cry with me. They sat with the kids while I walked and cried.
I'd lay prostrate on the floor, begging God to take this from me. I also felt like it was something I was going to have to go through. A dark water I was going to have to wade through....
The diagnosis was Post Partum OCD with panic disorder and depression. A triple whammy the psychiatrist told me. Only a small portion of woman will face post partum depression, even fewer will have panic disorder and of the small portion, less than 3% will develop the OCD part of it.... He assured me that I would in fact establish normalcy and that my faith and family were going to be the main components to get me through - that and a strong anti depressant! He encouraged me to NOT take the "sedative" medication unless I just couldn't get control...I'd already stopped taking them because of how they made me feel....
All that being said....it was hell and it was very real. I know many people think you can just snap out of those moments. I was told on more than one occasion to "get a grip". At that point, I had nothing to hold on to....
I wanted only to talk to people who had been there. People who knew what it was like to feel like you were going crazy...that you had no grip on reality. That at any moment your world would fall apart right before you eyes. There were many moments that I thought being hospitalized would be the right thing to do...but I feared they'd take my kids from me....thankfully, I was never left alone. My husband, the saint, took weeks off work to help me. He arranged someone to be with me all the time. He woke up, for 7 weeks straight, and did the babies night feedings. The doctor advised that I not be woken up in the middle of the night...as a tired mind had to fight even harder. I don't know how Matt did it, but he did.
I often feel cheated out of the first 3.5 months of O's life. He was my last baby...I was hoping to soak it all in...enjoy it all. That was not to be the case, and that's ok. I wouldn't change what I went through for anything. I know it sounds crazy - but it changed me. It changed the essence of who I am and what I am. It taught me things that I'll never forget...I wouldn't want to go back to how it was...even if I could.
My heart still breaks at the thought of what my two older boys must have felt at times. Thankfully, my family and I did our best to shelter them from it. Children are also extremely resilient...praise God!
That all being said...I want to help others who need help - not with just post partum issues, but panic/anxiety issues period. I promised God....He doesn't appreciate broken promises.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Not Me Monday
A few things I most certainly DID NOT do this week....
I did not go to "dinner" with some friends from work at 11pm this week. I would never eat that late!
I did not down three cherry limeades at that late dinner, because I didn't go out that late...remember!
I did not let my son skip school on Monday because daddy was gone and the others were still sleeping...I would never be such an irresponsible mother.
I did not make dinner this week, only to realize that 45 minutes later, I forgot to turn the oven on. I'm not that absent minded.
I did not laugh hysterically, when a friends son, dropped cream cheese on my rug, and then proceeded to rub it in with his foot, when his mom told him to "come here"... I would NEVER laugh at my friends in their moment of frustration.
I did not invite friends over for dinner, go to the store to get the ingredients I needed to make the dinner, get home and realize I hadn't bought 4 of the ESSENTIAL ones. I always make a list to grocery shop and stick to it!
I most certainly, did not stuff 13 LARGE marshmallows in my mouth at a party this week, in an attempt to beat someone at a game. I'm not that competitive, nor am I that silly.
After NOT stuffing that many marshmallows in my mouth, I did not have to do the same "breathing exercises" I did while I was pregnant with my boys, to stop myself from throwing up - because I didn't play the game!
I did not go to "dinner" with some friends from work at 11pm this week. I would never eat that late!
I did not down three cherry limeades at that late dinner, because I didn't go out that late...remember!
I did not let my son skip school on Monday because daddy was gone and the others were still sleeping...I would never be such an irresponsible mother.
I did not make dinner this week, only to realize that 45 minutes later, I forgot to turn the oven on. I'm not that absent minded.
I did not laugh hysterically, when a friends son, dropped cream cheese on my rug, and then proceeded to rub it in with his foot, when his mom told him to "come here"... I would NEVER laugh at my friends in their moment of frustration.
I did not invite friends over for dinner, go to the store to get the ingredients I needed to make the dinner, get home and realize I hadn't bought 4 of the ESSENTIAL ones. I always make a list to grocery shop and stick to it!
I most certainly, did not stuff 13 LARGE marshmallows in my mouth at a party this week, in an attempt to beat someone at a game. I'm not that competitive, nor am I that silly.
After NOT stuffing that many marshmallows in my mouth, I did not have to do the same "breathing exercises" I did while I was pregnant with my boys, to stop myself from throwing up - because I didn't play the game!
Friday, November 14, 2008
A View from Our Front Porch....
The mess has gotten even bigger! They have even torn out the curb! It's a mess....
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