While there, stand, strangely intrigued and watch a woman get arrested for shoplifting. They did everything, right there in the open, in front of everyone...
Wonder, several times out loud, "how did I become one of these crazy shopping people".
Stand in between to CD rows and try to regroup. Give yourself a "you can do this" peptalk before venturing back out into the sea of crazy people....
Watch in horror as your son "sprinkler pukes" all over everyone and everything in a five mile radius. Grab son and run to nearest non carpeted surface - the kitchen.
Apologize profusely for puking child and assure everyone that "he was fine this morning". Leave quickly with puking child.
Grab a plastic bag, just in case...and have to use it on the way home.
Let one son, "double spend the night" at aunt's house. When child calls home and says he "doesn't want to get sick", ask if YOU can come and spend the night too.
Realize, that you have allowed middle son to go the whole day with a fever too. Wonder why and how your children are sick so much this year....
Put up Christmas tree and all Christmas decor, in one evening, in the hopes that it will make you a little more excited that Christmas is almost here
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