We do.
That's right. All five of us, and our stinky cat, George, packed up all of our earthly belongings - at least the ones that would fit in a UHaul, travel trailer, truck and mini van, and we headed East...for about 9 hours. The drive took FAR longer than the 9 hours our GPS told us, but we made it safely.
Matt took a new position for a school out here in NJ. We prayed and talked about it. We sought wise counsel...we prayed some more...I cried and then we both declared that the right thing for us to do at this point in our life was to take this next step of faith.
I'm constantly asked, do you know someone out here...my answer: "Not a soul". I've had the opportunity to meet and befriend another young wife and mother who also relocated to Jersey from Michigan just a few years ago. For someone as social as me, this has been quite a change.
I'm certain I will adjust as well as our kids have soon, but for now, I've kept a bit to myself and enjoyed making our new house a home.
I've found there are several pluses to living in NJ. Actually, most of the things about this area are wonderful.
There is just one BIG FAT negative...no family or loved ones here! Well two really - no family and the extremely high cost of living on the East Coast.
I LOVE that where our new home is, we are no more than 1.5 hours from anything and everything you could ever want to do. Oceans, New York, mountains, theme parks, water parks, lakes, forests, and etc. You name it - it's here (or in PA or NY).
Our new home (rental property), is lovely. It's a large home. Much larger than our home in MI and quite nice. It sits at the top of a high street in the middle of the woods. Our street is full of children and our kids have made fast friends with many of them. They disappear outside for hours at a time. They run and play and get dirty and I love it. In fact, I can hear them running and yelling outside right now with some friends..although it's odd what you hear boys say when they are running and playing. Things like...EVERYBODY DOWN...IT'S A BOMB or I'M GOING TO SHOOT...thankfully, we all know it's kid out there!
People don't move the Jersey. They move to places like California or Florida...not Jersey. We really have been pleasantly surprised. It's NOTHING like the crazy folks on Jersey Shore. In fact, most people here are ashamed to admit that they film that show here! Most folks are just as nice and friendly as you'd expect. I grew up in MI so it's not as if, I'm coming from the South where everyone is friendly and full of smiles. I'm used to rude folks on occasion and haven't encountered too many of them.
So...We moved to Jersey.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Birth Order
I know a lot of folks don't put much stock in the whole "birth order" theory. The one that puts certain characteristics to certain children based on where they are in their birth order. There are lots of little things that change the order that is applied to you too.
For instance, my husband, is 7 years older than his younger brother. Anything more than 5 years can change the traits. Matt can either take on the traits of the middle sibling or the baby of the family. His youngest brother can either take on the traits of a baby or only child.
It's all quite fascinating and not nearly as confusing as it sounds. All that being said, it's not concrete by any stretch of the imagination. It's been disputed for years. It is, just as it says, a theory. I listed a few of the traits below:
Oldest: The oldest sibling is the most independent and also the most responsible of the group. They are natural born leaders and can be control freaks. They strive for perfection, and thrive on approval of authority figures, like mom and dad. They tend to do well in school, their careers, and life in general. The oldest child is also the most likely to be the most successful of the bunch, and might make more money as an adult than other siblings. The first born might end up in an occupational area such as engineering, architecture, or accounting.
Middle: The middle child, who feels deprived of attention worries about being over-looked, and tends to be the most rebelliant as a youngster. These people are the compromisers of the world, and enjoy pleasing others. They enjoy working in groups and feeling like they belong, and are good at making friends and getting along with others. These children tend to flock to occupations that are more people oriented than their older siblings.
Youngest: The youngest child generally is the most artistic of the group. They are also most likely to be the class clown, since they will do just about anything for attention, and usually are characterized as the show-off of the family. The last born also tends to be a bad decision maker and a very impatient person who tends to get bored rather easily.
I did all that to get to my point...seems kind of long to make a point or share a story.
I am a typical first born - well right up until that part about being an engineer and making lots of money. I guess, I'm a "Home Engineer" or sorts. My siblings could almost all fall right into their designated spots right behind me. You could probably do a case study on my family and use it to prove all of these theories correct.
My husbands family though is a little different. His oldest brother is definitely the first born and carries most of those traits. My husband takes on traits of both the middle and the youngest though. So - birth order and why I'm writing this...
Yesterday, M finally lost another tooth. The kid is going to be 9 in two days and has only lost 5 teeth. S hasn't lost much more than him at 10 and O...he hasn't lost any. I was thankful that the tooth finally fell out. His hands have been in his mouth non stop for a week and it's gross. M's teeth are jacked up anyhow. I'm certain we will spend a fortune at the orthodontist in the next few years on him - a trait I'm blaming on his daddy and his genes. The kids has teeth totally grown in behind teeth that haven't fallen out..he looks like a shark!
The kids are all ready for bed. No other reminders of the lost tooth have been said throughout the day. This is dangerous for the "tooth fairy". The "fairy" often has lots of other stuff on her mind. Important things like: did I switch the laundry or will it really be a HUGE problem if I leave that dirty pan on the stove overnight...not, I'd better get that tooth and leave a prize. I think everyone is sound asleep and tucked in bed. Matt and I were finishing the bathroom faucet and looking forward to sitting down to relax when I hear S say: "Mom, don't forget, M lost his tooth today and he'll be waiting for the tooth fairy". I thanked him for the reminder and then went to scrounge up a dollar or two. I finally found a dollar on the table in the living room. I'm not sure who the dollar belonged to. For all I know, I gave M, his own dollar! That's how we roll around here sometimes folks.
I thought about how much like the oldest S is. He thinks he's 42 and much smarter than both his father and I. He's a control freak. He does wonderfully in school and never has any problems there. He's the birth order trait. He'll be the brother who reminds his younger siblings to grab a coat. He'll probably always have extra stuff on him if anyone needs it. I'm hoping as they outgrow the fighting stage and grow into appreciating each other a little more, he'll become the one who watches out for his brothers. He's quite responsible too. I trust him to do many things - which in turn means I often rely on him too much.
This made me think of my relationship with my siblings. I laughed and thought that this is just what it's like with us. I'm always the one who had extra snacks, diapers, wipes and toys in the diaper bag because I was certain Nancy wouldn't have enough or wouldn't think about it. Cold night trick or treating...don't worry, Auntie Beth has 5 extra pair of gloves. Your hungry...go to Beth's house. She's always stocked with good food. I stayed the protector. I was the party thrower...kid needs a birthday cake. I'll make him one. The problem is...this didn't all stem from my unending desire to help and nurture as much as I'm a control freak! Things need to go a certain way and if I have all the bases covered then it's a step in the right direction.
If birth order continues to hold true I may be in trouble with O! Although, M doesn't seem to follow the middle child traits very much at all, O is definitely the youngest. He's really easy going for the baby of the family - but he's the youngest one...right up to being the class clown!
For instance, my husband, is 7 years older than his younger brother. Anything more than 5 years can change the traits. Matt can either take on the traits of the middle sibling or the baby of the family. His youngest brother can either take on the traits of a baby or only child.
It's all quite fascinating and not nearly as confusing as it sounds. All that being said, it's not concrete by any stretch of the imagination. It's been disputed for years. It is, just as it says, a theory. I listed a few of the traits below:
Oldest: The oldest sibling is the most independent and also the most responsible of the group. They are natural born leaders and can be control freaks. They strive for perfection, and thrive on approval of authority figures, like mom and dad. They tend to do well in school, their careers, and life in general. The oldest child is also the most likely to be the most successful of the bunch, and might make more money as an adult than other siblings. The first born might end up in an occupational area such as engineering, architecture, or accounting.
Middle: The middle child, who feels deprived of attention worries about being over-looked, and tends to be the most rebelliant as a youngster. These people are the compromisers of the world, and enjoy pleasing others. They enjoy working in groups and feeling like they belong, and are good at making friends and getting along with others. These children tend to flock to occupations that are more people oriented than their older siblings.
Youngest: The youngest child generally is the most artistic of the group. They are also most likely to be the class clown, since they will do just about anything for attention, and usually are characterized as the show-off of the family. The last born also tends to be a bad decision maker and a very impatient person who tends to get bored rather easily.
I did all that to get to my point...seems kind of long to make a point or share a story.
I am a typical first born - well right up until that part about being an engineer and making lots of money. I guess, I'm a "Home Engineer" or sorts. My siblings could almost all fall right into their designated spots right behind me. You could probably do a case study on my family and use it to prove all of these theories correct.
My husbands family though is a little different. His oldest brother is definitely the first born and carries most of those traits. My husband takes on traits of both the middle and the youngest though. So - birth order and why I'm writing this...
Yesterday, M finally lost another tooth. The kid is going to be 9 in two days and has only lost 5 teeth. S hasn't lost much more than him at 10 and O...he hasn't lost any. I was thankful that the tooth finally fell out. His hands have been in his mouth non stop for a week and it's gross. M's teeth are jacked up anyhow. I'm certain we will spend a fortune at the orthodontist in the next few years on him - a trait I'm blaming on his daddy and his genes. The kids has teeth totally grown in behind teeth that haven't fallen out..he looks like a shark!
The kids are all ready for bed. No other reminders of the lost tooth have been said throughout the day. This is dangerous for the "tooth fairy". The "fairy" often has lots of other stuff on her mind. Important things like: did I switch the laundry or will it really be a HUGE problem if I leave that dirty pan on the stove overnight...not, I'd better get that tooth and leave a prize. I think everyone is sound asleep and tucked in bed. Matt and I were finishing the bathroom faucet and looking forward to sitting down to relax when I hear S say: "Mom, don't forget, M lost his tooth today and he'll be waiting for the tooth fairy". I thanked him for the reminder and then went to scrounge up a dollar or two. I finally found a dollar on the table in the living room. I'm not sure who the dollar belonged to. For all I know, I gave M, his own dollar! That's how we roll around here sometimes folks.
I thought about how much like the oldest S is. He thinks he's 42 and much smarter than both his father and I. He's a control freak. He does wonderfully in school and never has any problems there. He's the birth order trait. He'll be the brother who reminds his younger siblings to grab a coat. He'll probably always have extra stuff on him if anyone needs it. I'm hoping as they outgrow the fighting stage and grow into appreciating each other a little more, he'll become the one who watches out for his brothers. He's quite responsible too. I trust him to do many things - which in turn means I often rely on him too much.
This made me think of my relationship with my siblings. I laughed and thought that this is just what it's like with us. I'm always the one who had extra snacks, diapers, wipes and toys in the diaper bag because I was certain Nancy wouldn't have enough or wouldn't think about it. Cold night trick or treating...don't worry, Auntie Beth has 5 extra pair of gloves. Your hungry...go to Beth's house. She's always stocked with good food. I stayed the protector. I was the party thrower...kid needs a birthday cake. I'll make him one. The problem is...this didn't all stem from my unending desire to help and nurture as much as I'm a control freak! Things need to go a certain way and if I have all the bases covered then it's a step in the right direction.
If birth order continues to hold true I may be in trouble with O! Although, M doesn't seem to follow the middle child traits very much at all, O is definitely the youngest. He's really easy going for the baby of the family - but he's the youngest one...right up to being the class clown!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
2012
I am just horrid at keeping up on this blog. I remember when I would post daily - or at least weekly. One of two things have obviously happened: I've either gotten two busy with the daily things of life OR our life just isn't that exciting anymore. Maybe, it's a little bit of both.
We are thankful for a new year. The boys still remain healthy - not counting the occasional bout of strep throat or a cold. Max's diabetes is still well controlled and we've been able to avoid thyroid medication again.
I'm a horrible mother for multiple reasons:
1 - my children have not been to the dentist in almost a year.
2 - I'm pretty sure we've eaten junk for dinner on more than one occasion in the last two months.
3 - I can't remember the last time I gave any of my children a vitamin.
4 - I don't always remember to MAKE them brush their teeth twice a day...in fact, some days, I'm not sure I remember to remind them once. Gross I know. I'm thankful, I can remember to at least brush mine.
O was sent to the office again. This time for kissing two kids in his class. They said the kiss was not an issue. It was just that he has to learn that he can't just walk around kissing people I guess. He didn't get in trouble at home - in fact, it was all I could do at the school to not burst into laughter.
O continues to learn and grasp new concepts quickly. I love listening to him read and seeing the stories that he writes in school. My favorite one was his story about the squares. He drew a picture of a single square and said..."the square is lonely". He drew three more squares and said: "The square found two friends"....that was the extent of his story. I love his imagination and thought process.
S has had lots of questions lately about the end of the world. I remember feeling the same way when I was his age. I was always afraid I wouldn't be able to grow up and get married. I wanted children. I also remember feeling guilt for not wanting Jesus to come back before those things happened. I still would love to see my children graduate and get married and have children...but I digress.
S has had lots of good questions. Many we don't have the answers for. We have relied heavily on: We trust that God will take care of us and only He knows when He will choose to return so we have to be sure our hearts are ready. For know he seems ok with that answer.
M continues to be an emotional hot mess. Eight is just a rough age all around. My sweet, cooperative little boy has turned into a whiny, screaming banche. It's not pretty. He can go from 0-60 in a second. He always feels horrible after he calms down from his fits - which have been known to last for close to an hour. He apologizes, without being prompted and tells us he loves us a million times afterwards. Matt and I are working on consistency and patience as we deal with these behaviors, but it's tough.
Matt often works long days so it's a little tougher on the boys and I some nights. All of our patience wears thin on those days. We are thankful for Matt and the hard work that he does each day to provide for our family - but we sure do miss him!
I'm staying busy doing a little bit of everything...photography, subbing, crocheting, making headbands, being a wife and a mother...a jack of all trades I guess. I have lots of fun ideas spinning in my head and don't always bring them all to fruition but when I do, I get really excited!
That's about the extent of our simple life right now - which is just fine with me!
We are thankful for a new year. The boys still remain healthy - not counting the occasional bout of strep throat or a cold. Max's diabetes is still well controlled and we've been able to avoid thyroid medication again.
I'm a horrible mother for multiple reasons:
1 - my children have not been to the dentist in almost a year.
2 - I'm pretty sure we've eaten junk for dinner on more than one occasion in the last two months.
3 - I can't remember the last time I gave any of my children a vitamin.
4 - I don't always remember to MAKE them brush their teeth twice a day...in fact, some days, I'm not sure I remember to remind them once. Gross I know. I'm thankful, I can remember to at least brush mine.
O was sent to the office again. This time for kissing two kids in his class. They said the kiss was not an issue. It was just that he has to learn that he can't just walk around kissing people I guess. He didn't get in trouble at home - in fact, it was all I could do at the school to not burst into laughter.
O continues to learn and grasp new concepts quickly. I love listening to him read and seeing the stories that he writes in school. My favorite one was his story about the squares. He drew a picture of a single square and said..."the square is lonely". He drew three more squares and said: "The square found two friends"....that was the extent of his story. I love his imagination and thought process.
S has had lots of questions lately about the end of the world. I remember feeling the same way when I was his age. I was always afraid I wouldn't be able to grow up and get married. I wanted children. I also remember feeling guilt for not wanting Jesus to come back before those things happened. I still would love to see my children graduate and get married and have children...but I digress.
S has had lots of good questions. Many we don't have the answers for. We have relied heavily on: We trust that God will take care of us and only He knows when He will choose to return so we have to be sure our hearts are ready. For know he seems ok with that answer.
M continues to be an emotional hot mess. Eight is just a rough age all around. My sweet, cooperative little boy has turned into a whiny, screaming banche. It's not pretty. He can go from 0-60 in a second. He always feels horrible after he calms down from his fits - which have been known to last for close to an hour. He apologizes, without being prompted and tells us he loves us a million times afterwards. Matt and I are working on consistency and patience as we deal with these behaviors, but it's tough.
Matt often works long days so it's a little tougher on the boys and I some nights. All of our patience wears thin on those days. We are thankful for Matt and the hard work that he does each day to provide for our family - but we sure do miss him!
I'm staying busy doing a little bit of everything...photography, subbing, crocheting, making headbands, being a wife and a mother...a jack of all trades I guess. I have lots of fun ideas spinning in my head and don't always bring them all to fruition but when I do, I get really excited!
That's about the extent of our simple life right now - which is just fine with me!
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